Category Archives: Reality TV

Wednesday’s Line

No, seriously…

A 16-year-old drove his truck to an island in the middle of a shallow Pennsylvania river and couldn’t get back.

Inmates split on Woody Allen.

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Well-rounded news…

USAToday profiles fanboys.

Naomi Watt, Stuart Townsend and Joseph Fiennes have all been cast for roles in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Not so fast.

Blockbuster may be losing money but it’s beating Netflix, says BusinessWeek.

Facebook founder finds himself in court; being sued by former colleagues.

Though relatively small companies, XM and Sirius merger is huge for the future of satellite radio, says Washington Post.

Has the mystery behind J.J. Abrams’ “mystery” project been solved?

How a movie poster got me totally excited for a Western.

The cover of Bottom Line fav. Kanye West’s new album, Graduation.

Blender’s top 25 most influential people in online music.

The Huffington Post’s Eric Williams thinks a Seth Rogan-led Green Hornet movie, or any Green Hornet movie, is a bad idea.

New York Magazine’s List of the 10 fictional characters who must be killed off.

Entertainment Weekly’s PopWatch previews tonight’s Top Chef reunion show.

Disney has vowed to remove smoking from its family-oriented films.

A look at what Coldplay’s new album could sound like.

More Kayne news: The rapper cast Bottom Line fav. Zach Galifinakis in video for “Can’t Tell Me Nothing.” AMAZING!

Say it ain’t so, Bear!

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The New York Post has an interview with a former consultant from the riveting Discovery Channel show, Man vs. Wild, who says the show’s host, Bear Grylls doesn’t really have it as rough as it would appear.

Mark Weinart, an Oregon-based survival expert, told the Post:

“If you really believe everything happens the way it is shown on TV, you are being a little bit naive.”

According to Weinart, the survivalist spent some nights in a cushy lodge with the show’s crew when he was shown on the show to be staying, of course, in the wild in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in California.

I guess I’m not awfully surprised by this, if not a little disappointed. What a viewer has to consider when watching a show like this is that the production has every advantage in portraying reality in any way they wish. If they want to make it look like he has to make a makeshift hut out of sod or narrowly escape a death by yetis, they can do that regardless of whether or not the danger was that imminent or if yetis are real.

I still find the show and Grylls impressive, I’ll still watch it when it comes on (my girlfriend will still roll her eyes when I do) but I think now every time you see something on the show you have to wonder if it really happened that way.

For my money, I like Survivorman. Les Stroud is a poor man’s Canadian Bear Grylls.

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Monday’s Line

No, seriously… A man in New Orleans found a knife in his back more than 5 months after he was stabbed in a fight.

Zimbabwe authorities are pissed at a medium that led them on a hunt for diesel fuel the medium said was in the northwestern part of the country.

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Well-rounded news…

The Minneapolis Star-Tribune on Best Buy’s Geek Squad taking stuff off your computer. Consumer rights blog The Consumerist led the way on this story. Good job, guys.

University of Kansas students will have their internet privileges taken away if they are caught file sharing.

The assistant managing editor at the Birmingham News is a genius!

An amazing map of Web 2.0.

Netflix has lowered their subscription fees in an effort to keep up with Blockbuster online. $1 guys! That’ll show ’em!

Flying Gonzo!

Part one of Entertainment Weekly’s Top 50 Best Love Songs Ever.

Bottom Line fav Nada Surf to hit the road in the fall to preview new material from their upcoming, yet-to-be-named album.

Police arrest 63 at Mayer gig.

David Chase addresses The Sopranos finale.. sort of.

The Sacramento Bee will begin posting video letters to the editor on its site.

What to do with that Joan Obsborne CD you can’t believe you own.

XM and Sirius execs continue to try to convince the FCC that its merger is good for consumers. No way.

Chicago’s famous Car-Kabob to be demolished.

MTV moving up the coast for its vapid teenage drama.

Top 5

Every week, I’m going to ring in the weekend by making some random top 5 list and encourage everyone else to do the same.

Today’s topic: Top 5 overlooked television shows

5. Beg, Barrow & Deal – ESPN – ESPN’s ripoff of the Amazing Race was amazing. Originally aired in primetime, when this show began airing at like midnight, I figured it was a bad sign.

4. Swan’s Crossing -My guess is that if I actually went back and watched this teen soap opera that aired for 13 weeks in 1992, I would think it was awful but I have super fond memories of the show from when I was 9.

3. Blow Out – I think my favorite part of this show was watching hair stylist Jonathan Anton try to convince the world that he was straight every week. Dude, you have tattoos and you finish every sentence with “man,” you like chicks, I get it.

2. Bands on the Run – I was obsessed with this show when it was on. I just didn’t miss it. If anyone from VH1 ever reads anything I write, I hope it’s this.. BRING BACK BANDS ON THE RUN AND RELEASE THE FIRST SEASON ON DVD. Who can forget the hard-drinking, hard-living guys from Flickerstick going toe-to-toe with corporate rock schmoozers Soulcracker. That show was epic.

1. Degrassi: The Next Generation – I know as a 23-year-old white guy, I’m hardly this show’s target demo but Stephen King’s love for Veronica Mars makes me feel like this is ok. This show is completely mindless and melodramatic and fantastic. If you don’t believe me, I’ll give you an example of the power of Degrassi. A couple weeks ago I was at home in Indiana for the wedding of my blogging colleague L-Mo and my girlfriend, myself and my friend Zac were sitting around my parents living room watching television. I turned on Degrassi. What started with “This is so dumb” quickly turned into wait “Who did Emma sleep with?” and “Why is Jimmy in a wheelchair?” That’s right, it’s social commentary brought to life by Canadian teenagers.

Certified by The 730

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The 730 hereby certifies “Victoria Beckham: Coming to America” as Pop Culture genius.

This certification will be awarded anytime Lauren and I agree on the genius of any one thing.

I think the show really does showcase Victoria’s wit and sense of humor in a really charming and endearing way. But just when you think, man, she’s just like anyone else. She arrives somewhere in what are surely two bulletproof Cadillac Escalades and enough bodyguards to protect the entire field of 2008 presidential candidates.

If the Beckhams never do anything else in this country, I seriously hope they consider making more episodes.

Victoria Beckham: Coming to America (and my heart)

Remember how I said I love reality tv? Well I do. And to demonstrate that, I’m posting twice in one day on yet another reality television show.

First things first. Victoria Beckham? Not the heinous shrew I once believed her to be. She’s actually a really funny chick. I flipped across her new show in an effort to keep my Tivo from recording South Park (I loath South Park, but that’s a post for another day). I had no intention of watching Vicki pout and not eat her way through an hour of my life. But one zinger after another and I was glued!

From commentary on botoxed over the hill Hollywood “socialites” to an attempt to fake out the paparazzi with a very well-coiffed blow up doll, the woman is full of British charm and humour. And guess what? She smiles!

Exhausted from a long day, I won’t spend too much time recapping. I will say that reviews of the show have been poor, which shocks the hell out of me. Beckham is, for me, the trendier, more famous, British Kathy Griffin. I love her. To illustrate this, I will leave you with an exchange from the show between Beckham and noted celeb-hater-blogger Perez Hilton in a coffee shop.

Hilton: I got you a cookie!
Beckham: Isn’t that nice of you. [gestures to piles of paparazzi outside the cafe] Unfortunately I can’t be seen eating or smiling. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to make myself miserable again. [exits cafe with trademark pout]

LOVE HER.

So bad it’s good: Rock of Love

I’ll man up and admit right here and now: I am a reality show junkie. I’ll give just about any reality show a go. At first Fox had the market cornered on trash-tastic voyeur TV, though one network has not only surpassed the title, but has practically reinvented itself as the network that is simultaneously trashy yet can’t miss. Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about Video Hits 1, the network formally home to Michael Bolton videos and the softest rock VJs this side of a secretary’s office.

First there was Flavor of Love, Hogan Knows Best, Celebrity Fit Club and the Surreal Life. Last season brought us Monique in her bitchin’ bad babe show Charm School (a personal fave). But when I saw the previews for Brett Michael’s Bachelor rip opus “Rock of Love,” I vowed not to watch. No way was I going to watch the tow-headed wash-up re-live his glory days with a bunch of vapid, drunken, siliconed camera whores.

And then the British Open started. Golf invaded my normal day-sucker that is TNT. Gone are my repeats of Law and Order, Without a Trace, ER, and Judging Amy. Damn golf. And all I could find to watch was Rock of Love. And now, without further adieu, here are five reasons why Rock of Love is the most trashtastic, so bad it’s good reality show on TV right now.

1. The man has his own bouncer. Big John rules with a pair of iron firsts, breaking up catfights with one and doling out brewskies with the other. And the man isn’t just a bouncer. He offers up such sage advice as “Problems is like shit. We all got ’em, and they all stink.”

2. During a photoshoot in which Brett takes sexy pics of each contestant while moaning with each click, one contestant throws down and admits what the whole show is really about. She simply whips out her surgically enhanced rack, at which point she has ensured the receipt of a coveted “All Access Pass.”

3. The girl who gets sloppy drunk, thrown out by Big John only to be brought back, and attempts to start catfights with each and every contestant, is allowed to stay at the end of the episode. And Brett doesn’t beat around the bush or bullshit us like our favorite ABC Bachelors. “She hot, she’s sexy, and hell, she’s entertaining.” Anything for the ratings, eh?

4. When Brett asks contestant Jessica (who refers to herself as a “Jessica Simpson knockoff”) to talk about herself, she immediately begins addressing an invisible audience as if the star of her own busted beauty contest. When Brett finally interrupts to ask who she’s talking to, she simply giggles and produces sounds that I presume might have been words. Who can tell….

5. And when you can hear one girl call another a “skank slut whorebag” twice in one episode, you know you’ve hit reality show gold.

So thank you Brett Michaels, for helming the ship of reality so unabashedly trashy, so aware of its own ratings, that it doesn’t even pretend to be The Bachelor. It might as well be titled, “Brett Michaels: Who Still Wants to F*ck me?”